Time to Stop Toughing It Out

The following is a guest post by Theresa Nutt.

As I continue my journey of becoming my own beloved, I have noticed something important: a theme that is really standing out for me right now is the topic of toughing it out. Too many of us have learned to ignore our feelings and other parts of our experience that are not considered acceptable (according to who, I wonder?).

Here are a few of the common symptoms of toughing it out:

  • We swallow feelings and let them fester inside.
  • Others treat us poorly and we don’t speak up.
  • Our needs come last after everyone else is “happy” or comfortable (which never happens).
  • We stop pursuing our passions and wait for a magic someday.
  • Our body tries to get our attention and we just keep pushing on because there isn’t enough time. Eventually, something big happens and we suffer as a result.
  • We are exhausted, but afraid to slow down or rest.
  • Instead of living a unique life that speaks to us, we try to fit in and be more like others around us.

Tune In Instead Of Toughing It Out

The obvious remedy is to tune in more deeply to ourselves and our experience. There are times when the most loving thing to do is notice that life is really challenging. Or, that despite our best efforts we can’t seem to make headway.

There are not enough spiritual gymnastics in the world to help us in certain situations. And instead of admitting we are struggling or instead of asking for help when we need it the most, we start beating ourselves up using our inner critic.

What if instead of all the critic’s responses, you found yourself asking what you needed most instead of how can you tough this out?

Help Yourself First Instead of Toughing It Out

Once you tune in, you have the good fortune of knowing what you most need. Is your inner child screaming for your attention in some way? Are you in need of a supportive friend to listen or give you a hand? Do you need some time in Mother Nature to calm your mind and deepen your breathing?

And in the end, if you could just remember that the love, attention, approval, appreciation and every other thing you seek from external sources is a neon sign. The neon sign is reminding you to stop, tune into what is true for you, and love yourself more fiercely than ever before.

Embody: Move Your Desires From Intention To Manifestation

As the new year unfolds and you focus on creating what you want in life, I want to give you some information that aligns you with the new energy that is present for you right now. The new energy of 2017 will make it easier to embody the vibration of what you are creating. It’s more collaborative, supportive and focused on receiving.

Let’s start by defining embodying from my perspective. The dictionary’s definition is “to be a constituent part of” or “to be an expression of.” My personal definition is holding the vibration of and making choices that support the vibration of an intention.

How do I move from intending to embodying?

Embodying is the key to manifesting what you want to experience. Here is the overview of how you embody:

  • Pay attention to what you intend for your life.
  • Match your vibration energetically to the vibration of what you are intending.
  • Release anything that is keeping you from connecting with what you are manifesting.
  • Love yourself more no matter what arises.
  • Notice the glimpses of what is naturally arising in your life and what gives you more energy when you follow it.

I am going to give you a big example from my own life that just popped up this month. I have been doing some part-time work as a nurse at a home health agency. And my intention to value and respect myself is being put to the test. I am being worked more than full-time though I agreed to part-time work. And I am being left to figure out a lot of the “how to do this work” on my own even though I am supposedly in orientation.

So, here’s embodying in a real-life example. I had two choices. One was to swallow my frustration and try to keep sucking it up, lose sleep and care poorly for myself. The other was to speak up and voice my needs. The second is the definition of embodying.

I chose the second, by the way. First, I sent an email to my director of nursing very respectfully outlining my experience, my concerns and my needs. Then I had a follow-up phone call with him to discuss in person. His response was positive, but as the day ended, I found the same patterns repeating.

Which means, now I have another set of choices. Because when you set an intention and claim what you want for your life be prepared!! The Universe will do a few things to make sure you are serious. This leads to what I am doing next. I again have a choice; the first option is to tough it out and let it slide. This particular choice tells the Universe that I am wishy-washy about what I want and the results I will get match that. The choice I am taking is to be boldly consistent about voicing my feelings, concerns and needs that match the vibration of respecting and valuing myself.

Embodying is a daily practice

Here are the key steps to embodying effectively:

  1. Get crystal clear about what you are intending.
  2. Keep what you are intending top of mind all day long.
  3. Identify how the energy vibration of what you are intending feels and focus on consistently creating that feeling in your energy field.
  4. Clear out anything that is keeping you from embodying. Things to consider include patterns of behavior, words you commonly use, what you tolerate from others, physical and emotional clutter of any kind, etc.
  5. Consistently reinforce your intention by taking the action that supports your intention. And don’t stop until it’s second nature. Remember that the Universe will eventually stop testing you – as soon as you have successfully learned how to consistently embody the vibration and take action to support your intention.
  6. Love whatever arises in you as you work through the transformation process.

The rest is about you aligning with your heart and soul. So don’t look for a lot of external resources. Tune into yourself and your Divine inner wisdom. You absolutely know what is right for you.

Theresa Nutt is a transformational coach, author and speaker. She empowers women to become vibrant, imaginative and unforgettable. Her business is Closeted Creatives Coaching. She can also be reached via email.