I remember the day, just like it was yesterday, when I woke up and reread a journal entry from a few days before that contained the fateful words, “When did I die inside?” I call that moment in my life the great interruption. I was shocked into realizing that nothing in my life made sense anymore and I had never felt emptier as a human being. I realized that the magic “someday” I had been banking on for my life was never coming! And I had spent too many years struggling, sacrificing and being a human pretzel (aka expert people pleaser) at the expense of a life that really mattered.
I had been a spiritual seeker, personal growth junky, and student of life’s mysteries for some time. I thought this transformation would be a piece of cake and went into it with a big “I’ve got this” attitude. Well the Universe had some other ideas in mind! Here’s the thing – truly big transformations require letting go of everything we know about ourselves, and our experiences so we ask deeper questions. And those deeper questions shake up the beliefs and patterns that have created the reality we currently experience. Being a stubborn Taurus type, all of that uncertainty and unknown just put me right over the edge! I wanted answers and I wanted them yesterday, because I wasn’t going to make this change
unless I knew exactly what the Universe had in store for me and how this entire experience would go down.
Suffice it to say, that I did survive the shock of the transformation and continued to dare to seek my authentic life even though there was not an answer in sight. It was a journey fraught with setbacks, double backs, and stumbles; not to mention the sleepless nights and endless questions that never seemed to come with answers. In that journey, I learned how to reclaim my life and my gifts, and more importantly, fill the empty void that had consumed my life. I had to unravel my codependent tendencies and start getting really comfortable honoring and owning my own experiences. It all started with speaking my truth and getting really clear about my feelings.
Since my great interruption, a new life has blossomed and gained momentum. From this place of self-acceptance I experience deeper joy, more meaningful relationships, and work that truly matters to me. My life fills my heart and soul!
So if you find yourself in this place of emptiness, I encourage you to settle into the process, seek help and support, and trust that truly amazing things are in store for you once you surrender to the Universe. You’ve got this!
Submitted by Theresa Nutt
Transformational Life Coach – Owner of Closeted Creatives Coaching