The following is a guest post by Dr. Shannon Gulbranson.
Do you feel as though you’ve lost yourself? If the answer is “maybe” or “yes,” then please keep reading. If the answer is “no,” but you feel as though there are parts of yourself that you’re hiding, that you’ve misplaced or that you’ve left behind, then keep reading.
Wherever you are today, there are practical steps you can take to get you, your dreams, your voice and your life back.
First, let me clarify that it’s not so important to get these things back as it is to move them forward. Forward with the you that you’re on your way to becoming, as well as the life you’re creating. Sometimes going back helps us remember what we desire. However, it’s vital to know that going back isn’t where you’re going to stay or discover yourself.
You, my dear, are here. Now. Today. The question is, are you acknowledging yourself today? Please do yourself a favor and try these three sacred steps.
Step #1: Expose yourself
Whoever you are right now, expose her by completely acknowledging yourself. This means your feelings, thoughts, ideas, likes, dislikes and anything (and everything) else. Then enjoy the process of releasing her…
Step #2: Express yourself
Say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. Be who you are now, exactly where you are. Locate yourself, here, not there. Once you do, you can begin to move forward.
Step #3: Engage yourself fully
This is also known as getting to know you. When you’re willing to accept who you are and where you are, you can begin to become the desire(s) of your heart.
And here you thought that somehow your desire(s) and you were separate. The sacred secret is this: you are your desires. Allowing yourself to become is key.
When you stop exposing and expressing your desire, you stop being fully you. You stop becoming.
Show up and expose yourself today. Speak up and express yourself. Stand up and engage yourself by fully engaging in your life and your life’s work with all of your self.
Are you willing to go all in?
The following is an excerpt from “Date Yourself Well: 12 Engagements of Becoming The Great Lover of Your Life” by Dr. Shannon Gulbranson. Check out part one of this article as well!
Truth #2: When you are willing to take care of you, you will be taken care of.
In addition to these two truths, I also discovered that it wasn’t going to be from me learning how to be a better person, better wife, better woman or better anything that would heal me. Oh my goodness, the time and money I have spent on one self-help seminar after another trying to fix myself or make me better. I cannot tell you how many tens of thousands of dollars I’ve spent on these “programs” over the years! It seemed as though every time I felt most desperate, there was always another “Miracle step-by-step program” promising to fix my partner, fix me, fix my relationship, make me better, make me happier, make me more money or MORE of anything and everything I thought I needed for happiness.
I even approached God this way. My prayers were a laundry list of needs that I felt must be met for me to get what I wanted or felt I needed. I will never forget the day I realized that I didn’t need to get what I wanted to be happy, but instead, my joy would come from knowing what I truly desired.
Who knew it could come from within?
The following is a guest post by Dr. Shannon Gulbranson.
Are you a great lover of yourself? Of your life? Of your life’s work?
If not, then why not? Why not now?
The first step to take in becoming the great lover of your life is to clearly and courageously define your desires— especially the ones you’re most passionate about.
Often, we play the subtle and many times unconscious role of the damsel in distress in our lives, not realizing that this role is that of a victim and is intensely destructive to our power, passion and all possibility.
Life can quickly become a pit or prison instead of a palace and happily ever after.
When was the last time you felt fully engaged in your life? What would loving your life and your life’s work look and feel like for you? Would you be willing to redefine loving your life and how you see it?
My life changed when I stopped telling a “poor me” story and instead told my story from the perspective of the writer, not a character. I no longer chose to be the damsel in distress, while pretending to play the part of the powerful leading lady. Instead, I became the leading lady in my own story, while living a new role of love, life, lessons and legacy. This new storyteller no longer pretends to be anything that she is not, nor does she tell a story that she doesn’t choose to live.
Now that’s a love story, filled with a romantic adventure in healing!
I started to live this new story by beginning the journey of dating myself well many years ago. You can too!
To uncover your desires, it’s important to identify the specific syndromes that cover up the real you— your desires, heart and soul. They are merely symptoms of a greater cause and they affect almost every woman at some point in her life. This is especially true if she has bought into the cultural model that perpetuates the “Cinderella syndrome,” which can end up leaving her disappointed, disengaged and possibly divorced.
Thus, progressing to the “disengagement syndrome”, which often leads to the “poor me syndrome.” And all this only after speeding through the “superwoman syndrome” that leaves her feeling broken, exhausted and often broke— physically, emotionally and financially.
From my own experience, trials and triumphs, the only cure for these seemingly incurable syndromes is truth that cures from within. Yes, it’s possible. However, in order to heal, we must feel it. Ouch!
This truth will help you rewrite your “poor me” story and replace it with your “rich me” story of truth. It will allow you to love and live uncovered, unafraid, unashamed, unapologetic and unconditionally loved.
That’s a lifelong love affair that I like to call “womancing yourself.”
The following is an excerpt from “Date Yourself Well: 12 Engagements of Becoming The Great Lover of Your Life” by Dr. Shannon Gulbranson.
For me it was the paralyzing effect of divorce that seemed to be the problem in my life and the pain that kept me from moving forward in my life. The more I attempted to “undo” my divorce, the more it led me to repeating the decisions and patterns of behavior that led to more broken relationships. This is what happens when we focus on the past; it repeats itself in the future.
It wasn’t until I came to the humbling truth that although I had broken relationships in my past and felt brokenhearted, I didn’t need fixing. It was then that I truly began to heal. I also discovered that although I felt broken, I didn’t need to live my life that way. Although I was single, it didn’t require a solution.
Truth #1: You don’t need fixing (and neither does your relationship status).
In the process of openly and honestly embracing my intense emotions, I was able to discover that divorce was merely the effect of a deeper disconnection between my head and heart.
This solution wasn’t going to be found in a new relationship with another man (the “right” man). If I continued to allow myself to blame my present relationship status on anyone (including me), it would only perpetuate the lie that I needed someone else to complete me. This is definitely the myth that so many single/divorced women (humans) buy into. We believe that it’s in another person that we will find happiness, or that we need someone else to take care of us to be happy.
I’ve got news for you. If you’re not willing to take care of you, no one else will be either—at least not at the level that your heart deeply desires. Worse yet, you will continue to attract people into, and create circumstances in, your life that will keep you very busy tending to others’ needs because you are desperately looking for someone to take care of yours.
The following is a guest post by Dr. Shannon of Healing Life Coach, Inc.
So often we see ourselves as becoming something. My question for you is, “Are you being on your way to becoming?”
Let me explain:
Your “be” is your bold and energetic you as you are—not who you are going to be—it’s “coming” into the moment of now.
It’s when you show up with you—your whole beautiful self that lacks nothing. It’s when you are not only bold and energetic, but you also become it. You come with who you are versus who you are not (or versus who you think you are). It’s when you show up with all of you.
Can you imagine that?
If you can imagine it, you can be it, because imagining is simply allowing the reflection of that image to show up and be included in this wonderful adventure of life.
Are you willing to show up? Be included? Be bold? Be energetic? If you’re willing, then we can take the next step.
Step 1: Expose Yourself
It’s what I like to call, “Being naked and unashamed.” Stand in front of your mirror and for one minute, reflect on all the good things you see—like you would if you were speaking to your best friend.
(Warning: If you cannot do this, fear is standing in front of you. Ask fear to step aside and then tell me what you see. Being fearless is not about never feeling afraid. It’s being willing to fear less. It’s about seeing what’s true and living and loving more.)
You can do it!
Step 2: Locate Yourself
Take one minute to honestly evaluate where you are: physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Take inventory of where you are without judgement. Ask yourself, “Where am I?” Then, kindly ask, “Where would I like to be?”
Remember, the first step in getting to where you desire to go is to know where you are. Where are you and most importantly, are you being fully present where you stand today? Are you consciously aware of you?
Step 3: Know Yourself
Give yourself one minute to take another inventory of what it is that you know about you. Acknowledge the desires in your heart, the gifts that are uniquely you, the resources in your life that add value to your life, the people you love, those that love you, the gift of health—anything or anyone of value that you are connected to.
Ask yourself, “If what I currently have in my life were all the resources I had, how could I use what I’ve got to build something/do something/be amazing?”
Is it possible? Yes, it is.
It’s no coincidence that the word “inventory” starts with the word “invent”!
Recognize who you are and what you have. Before long, you’ll invent something so magnificent that your current way of living will not only be bold and energetic, but you will reflect that magnificence too!
Please let me know what you come up with, I’d love to hear your story.