Being Authentic

The following is a guest post by Michele Rae of The Center Within.

Sometimes I find myself guarded, timid and reluctant to express myself from my inner truth.

What part of me is afraid of being judged? Misunderstood? Rejected? Or even ridiculed? Buried inside I have mistakenly internalized messages from someone or somewhere that I am not good enough or lovable if I radiate from my authentic self. Today I am feeling the invitation to trust the certainty of my inner knowing and live more fully in alignment with my essence.

For me, my authentic self is an internal voice or awareness and informs my sense of self. It is continually evolving as revelations, curiosity, confusion, pain, awe and wonder push me beyond my comfort zone. Life breaks me open to new perspectives about what I know to be true. As I surrender and accept more fully what is, those beliefs that I am not enough are released.

Living an authentic life requires risk, courage and vulnerability. In return, I have more peace, discernment, tolerance and joy.

Expressing myself from this place of truth cultivates everyday miracles and surprises. Anything and everything is possible in the present moment, and I have enough free attention to fully embrace the intuition, synchronicity and insights that arise in my life. As I lay down my neediness for approval and acceptance and trust those in my life will encourage and celebrate my authentic self, my relationships are more real and mutually supportive. My work has more depth, creativity and effectiveness.

It is not always easy, but it is simple. So, the next time someone tells me I am shining too brightly and it makes me bad and wrong, I will send them a blessing and not dismiss myself. Today I more fully embrace my Center Within, my ever-present essential nature, which is fully aligned with the divine. From my authentic self, I can live as presence, navigating life’s conditions and situations from the inside out.

Rediscover Meaning

christmasmeaningWritten by Barb Greenberg, excerpt from Rediscovering the Holidays

When we think of holidays, it is often vibrant visions of Christmas that appear: mouth watering meals, laughter, singing, and family gathered around a Christmas tree lovingly decorated with ornaments twinkling with special memories.

I have to confess that being Jewish, our family Christmas eve tradition was going to a movie and then out for Chinese food, so clearly my deep emotional connection is not to Christmas. For me the rich traditions of Passover are most intricately woven into my heart, including the mouth watering meals, laughter, singing, and a Passover table lovingly set with my grandmother’s dishes gleaming with special memories.

meaningjewishWhatever the holiday, divorce can make you feel as if a wrecking ball has demolished a landmark building you thought would withstand the test of time and leaves you with one more thing to grieve. When the dust settles you have the opportunity to rebuild this space, but trying to recreate what once had been, feels forced and false.

How do you find what feels true and honest? How do you find a way to honor the past and still move forward? The process begins with reevaluating what the holiday means to you on a spiritual level. As you grow and change, the message of the holiday will develop and deepen, and you always have the opportunity to reflect and reevaluate it’s significance.  Print out the Rediscover Meaning – Questions for Reflection.

How to Deal with Fear During Divorce

Written by Barb Greenberg, founder Rediscovering U

What women fear during divorce can change moment to moment.

I was afraid of being alone, of not having the ability to support myself, of the pain I was causing my children. I was afraid I was not eating enough or was eating too much. I was afraid my jeans made me look fat. I was afraid that my mother would come over, and I had’t cleaned the bathroom.

I was even more afraid I would never stop crying or be able to move forward with my life.

Affirmations didn’t help, and I couldn’t find a positive attitude no matter how hard I looked, though I was good at faking one.

After tossing and turning one sleepless night, I turned on the light, picked up a fresh legal pad and a pen and began to scribble. “I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m so *&@! scared.” I pressed so hard with my pen I sometimes ripped though the the paper. I used up the entire legal pad. Then I turned off the light, crawled back into bed, and slept like a baby.

What a relief to stopped trying to hold it all together, and how refreshing to be totally honest with myself. I moved from feeling betrayed and discarded to acknowledging I would survive and had more power than I realized.

Suggestions to ease your fears:

  • Write out your feelings in journal or on a legal pad and embrace them without judgment.
  • Breathe. It helps you stay in the Present. Fear is caused by too much “future” and not enough present, just as Guilt is caused by too much “past.”
  • Remember fear is normal. There is nothing wrong with you! Of course you will be afraid whenever there is stress, uncertainty, and change. It is not a rogue emotion out to get you. It’s a natural reaction to your situation, putting you on alert and making sure you pay attention.
  • Trust in your abilities. Trust in your Higher Power.
  • Ask for help so you are not navigating this time alone.
  • Do the best you can one step at a time. The step may be to call your attorney or take nap, to start a budget or to have a chocolate chip cookie.

Grow in Gratitude

“If the only prayer you say in your whole life is “Thank you,” that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart

Gratitude is defined as a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness, and appreciation for life.  It is more than simply a pleasant emotion to experience or a polite sentiment to express. (more…)

The Good Girl Syndrome & Rediscovering Anger

Tremendous sadness is all too familiar for women in divorce. And I was great at being sad. If it was a sport, I was performing at an Olympic level.

But try as I might, I could not “do” anger. You see, I was brought up to be a Nice Girl, and Nice Girls don’t get angry. (more…)