Have you ever felt this way?

I’m divorcing. 

Should I cry endless tears and scream and throw things? You have probably done, or thought of doing, all of this, except for possibly throwing things. Who wants to clean up the big mess that makes?!

Should I slink away into the night, soundlessly hiding in the shadows pretending nothing has happened or that it doesn’t hurt that much, like when you fall down in public and people come to help you?

“Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” you say and then you return home aching, bruised, and crying, not just because it hurts, but because you’re scared.

I remember being scared and angry thinking this was not the road I was promised, the one in the brochure that had explained, if you follow the directions, they would take you to where you assumed you wanted to go.

The directions seemed simple, but I didn’t realize at the time that they were quite misleading and not at all accurate. “Be a nice girl, and you’ll end up here, on the X, with sunshine, flowers, smiling children, clean floors, and fresh smelling laundry.”

Well, now I’m “here,” and it’s not “there”!  And although “there” sounds like it might be boring, boring does have the advantage of being predictable…except for the children who are never boring or predictable!

Do you ever wonder why it has to be a road we are traveling? Why can’t it be a meadow we  are exploring?

Being on a road makes me feel like I have to keep moving, because if I stop the odds are that I’ll get run over by whoever’s coming up behind me. There are rocks, ruts, sharp turns with steep drop-offs, and woods that are so dark I’ll lose sight of where I was going.

A meadow feels so peaceful, filled with warm sunlight. When clouds appear, I can watch as their shadows float across the soft, sweet smelling grass and the gently colored wildflowers.

It feels safe to wander and explore, listen to birds and look up at the sky, and there are lovely places to rest and possibly the find answers I’d been searching for.

Ask yourself:

What image helps bring you peace and why?

How would it, or does it, feel to wander and explore?

To what questions are you searching for answers?



Barb Greenberg – Founder, Speaker and an award winning author.  Rediscovering U was founded by Barb, a divorce transition expert who excels in educating, empowering and inspiring women to move through divorce and into a new life.

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