We all show our gratitude in different ways. A dear friend was grateful she had survived her divorce and wanted to do something special for her supportive friends. Since they had given her a bridal shower years before, she decided to invite them to her divorce sprinkle!
If you can’t feel grateful right now, that’s just fine. It’s vital to honor all your emotions, not just the shiny pretty ones, but those that are the deeper, darker shades. Acknowledging emotions is the first step to healing them, and it is a powerful and respectful gesture to yourself.
Do you sometimes feel you can be grateful all day long and a few moments later you don’t even want to hear the word gratitude? We lovingly call this the Tarzan swing! It’s as if one moment you are feeling strong and confident and then suddenly you are filled with anger, frustration, and loneliness.
Please know you are not alone and be patient with yourself.
Keep things simple. You could possibly be grateful that you haven’t lost your mind and can still speak in complete sentences when absolutely necessary. You could be grateful that you are only going through one box of tissues a day instead of three.
Begin to notice moments of comfort: a call from a dear friend that lifts your spirits, the cat curled up on your lap, the pattern of the sunshine through the window. Begin to record these in a journal. With time your list will grow, your gratitude will deepen, and your heart will heal.
Trust that when you look inside yourself you will find strength, courage, and wisdom.
In time the Tarzan swings will not be so extreme. Instead, they may begin to feel like the slow gentle rocking on a child’s swing. Eventually you can choose to get off the swing, sit in a lawn chair, and relax with an iced tea…. and possibly a box of Oreos!
Barb Greenberg – Founder, Speaker and an award winning author. Rediscovering U was founded by Barb, a divorce transition expert who excels in educating, empowering and inspiring women to move through divorce and into a new life.