You Have to Dance!

Our older daughter always loved to dance. When she was in pre-school we took her to see the Nutcracker at Northrup Auditorium. She stood next to her aisle seat, and when the music began she started to twirl and continued dancing through the entire performance, bringing smiles to those sitting nearby.

Dance was her North Star, guiding her choices, and in her early 20s she opened her own dance company in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Last week she ran into a friend she hadn’t seen in years.

He asked, “Are you dancing?

She said, “No, not any more.”

He said, “You have to dance.”

She said, “I haven’t danced in 20 years.’”

The conversation continued.

“You have to dance.”

“I’m too busy running my company.”

“You have to dance.”

“I’m too out of shape.”

His commitment did not waiver. He repeated once again, “You have to dance,” and convinced her on the spot to do an improvisational piece while he accompanied her musically. When they were finished she was exhausted and trying hard to catch her breath, and he said, “That was beautiful. You have to dance!”

We each have a North Star guiding us. During divorce it is sometimes the only light we can see. Other times it’s brightness has dimmed and we lose sight of it. We may realize that what had been guiding us was not our true North Star, and we look up to the heavens and deep into our hearts for the light we are seeking, and this light is always there, waiting for us.

When you feel too overwhelmed trying to survive your divorce, or that your self-esteem is too far out of shape, or that too much time has passed for you to start again, know that your North Star has not deserted you. Follow it. Begin anew.

You may be unsure, exhausted and trying hard to catch your breath, yet what you have begun will be beautiful.


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