Divorce gives us the opportunity to reevaluate many things in our life, including which holiday traditions we want to continue and what new traditions we’d like to create. Even so, if you are dealing with divorce you may be furious right now. “What do you mean, NEW traditions? Everything in my life is changing, and you want me to change this too? I don’t think so!!”
You may shout, “It’s my responsibility to keep things from falling apart and that includes maintaining holiday traditions.” You may follow this up with, “I have to do things a certain way, because that is the way they’ve always been done.”
I remember feeling furious and shouting (to myself), and it took time for me to understand that by blending what had meaning from my past with what held meaning for my future, I could create something to treasure.
New traditions can be as symbolic as lighting special candles, as meaningful as volunteering to serve those less fortunate, or as light-hearted as putting plastic bowls on your children’s head and letting them march around the house (we’ve done that!)
I have a friend who so enjoys the freedom to create new ways to celebrate that her tradition is to try a different tradition each year.
If you are sharing custody of your children and cannot always be with them on the exact date of a holiday, please remember any day can become sacred and blessed if you allow it to be. The possibilities of activities you can do together are endless, and the memories you create will be priceless.
Then remember to create a tradition just for you, something comforting and healing to help ease your stress and bring you peace.