The following is a guest post by Jennifer Kern Collins.
How you think about life is everything. What you focus on in your mind translates to an emotion. Your emotions are your feedback system, indicating whether what you’re thinking in your beautiful brain is in alignment with what your deeper spirit knows and wants for you— and your spirit always wants what is in your best interest.
Simply put, when you feel good, your human thoughts are in alignment with your spirit. When you feel bad, your mental focus is out of alignment with what this “core essence” part of you knows.
Traversing the chasm of divorce will call you to rely on your deeper resources and invite you to rise up into the next-highest level of your potential, of who you are capable of becoming. Identifying and then intentionally managing your thoughts will support you in this process to no end. And your feelings provide the quickest way to recognize what your thoughts are. Hold more of your attention on the thoughts that feel good and you will empower your Spirit to more effectively help you navigate this huge life transition.
In the midst of my own marital separation, as I recognize which thoughts feel best—or most self-honoring—to me, I know those are the ones guiding me to live in alignment with my Soul’s divine path. Identifying and continuously selecting feel-good thoughts requires a skill set, effort and practice, and it’s so worth it.
Some simple examples to illustrate…
Bad-Feeling: It used to be so good between us.
Good-Feeling: What’s ahead of me is even better.
Bad-Feeling: I failed in this relationship.
Good-Feeling: We’ve reach a “completion point” and are simply no longer a match.
Bad-Feeling: I’m never going to make it on my own.
Good-Feeling: I have more strength, courage and wisdom than ever before, and I know I am capable.
I hold the focus on the good feeling thoughts as much as possible, because I want to be the one to determine my emotional state—not the circumstance or another person. I’m the leader of my life, and I want to deliberately choose how I claim my power, positively influence outcomes and flow through this process.
Plus, if a thought feels positive—even if I don’t completely believe that it’s true (yet)—I know that it’s my spirit affirming, “Aaaamen, Sistah! You are on the path of your highest good!”
While grief, fear and anger are a natural part of concluding a relationship as vital as a marriage, you also have the ability to choose how you want to focus your mind and spend your emotional energy, riding the waves as best you can. This is where your true power lies! The next level of your best self is emerging. The more you can align with things that feel good and self-honoring to you, the smoother your transition will be and the sooner your new glorious chapter can begin.