As related to me by “Anonymous Annie.”
“My ex-husband and his new sweetie are in Florida walking on the beach while I’m in Minnesota walking through blowing snow in an icy parking lot. They have a new Lexus, and I have a 9 year old Toyota with duct tape holding together a crack in the front bumper. They have new fit bits, and I have a pink post-it note with the words “walk more” written on it.”
During my divorce and though I hate to admit it, for a few years afterwards, I would have raged, “It’s not fair! It’s just not fair!”
Being brought up as a nice girl who was not supposed to get angry, raging was skill I had to learn. I have to say I got very good at it, and it felt great…for a while.
Eventually it got boring. I began sounding like a fan at a ball game screaming when the referee didn’t call a foul or should have called a penalty on the other team which doesn’t always happen in sports or in divorce, and life is not a game, though some people act like it is.
People say time heals, but I don’t think it’s time alone that heals. No matter how much time goes by, there are people who can’t seem to do it.
Time does give us a chance to shift our perspectives, and it gave me a chance to realize how grateful I was that I no longer had to walk on eggshells or give away parts myself to be loved.
Though sometimes the “not fair” gremlin comes by for a short visit, I now understand that even though I have found myself in a place I never imagined, it is a good place, a healing place, a place of possibilities…and that is more than fair.
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