Excerpt from the book “Start Now Grow Big” by Theresa Rose – Professional Speaker
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…we must do that which we think we cannot.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Fear isn’t real. It’s a mental illusion we have concocted to pre-pave the nastiest possible outcome. We let this Fallacy From Hell take over our mental body and paralyze us from taking action. It is a demon. Fear bubbles appear so dedicated to preying on people’s deepest, darkest fears. How twisted is it that observing someone in the throes of a panic attack constitutes entertainment?
I don’t perceive fear as something we can just carve out and put aside. It’s not something we can just carve out and put aside. It’s not an emotional appendix that can be easily removed with some anesthesia and a sharp knife. Instead, the energy of fear is interwoven within us. It permeates us in the stories we tell, memories we hold, and wounds we bear. It convinces us not to trust or believe and invites us to worry that what comes next will have the worst possible outcome.
I bet if you and I sat down for a coffee or adult beverage and asked each other, “what are you afraid of?”, a whole boat-load of dialogue would ensue. What have I been afraid of? The short answer is nearly everything. Here are some oldies but moldies that have haunted me:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of success
- Fear of loneliness
- Fear of something bad happening to a member of my family
- Fear of running out of money
- Fear of getting sick and dying
- Fear of being in a horrible, disfiguring accident
- Fear of calling too much attention to myself
- Fear of people physically threatening me or my family because they don’t approve of what I do/say/write/think/am
- Fear of criticism
- Fear of fear
For me, fear is like cement. It holds me firmly in place, not allowing me to move forward. It keeps me in an illusory state of comfort and safety, but in reality it is killing me I hate knowing that I am not acting on something simply because I am scared witless of doing it. When my mom was a Mary Kay Senior Sales Director, her standard closing line when speaking to a potential recruit was, “Other than fear, is there any reason why wouldn’t want to begin your training program today?” I can thank her for teaching me at such an early age how fear plays a role in our decision-making process.
When we have a life that isn’t dominated by fear and approach new opportunities with a resounding “YES, great things are going to happen!”, then our whole world changes. Anodea Judith, one of my teachers, often exclaims, “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I deserve this. Send me more!” This phrase imprints YES into our energy and puts us in the powerful vibration of gratitude. Mary Morissey describes gratitude as “the feeling tone of the state of abundance.” By saying yes more than we say no, we turn feardom into freedom.
Fear is the perfume of the Small Me. The Small Me covers herself in it, reeks of it, and pushes people away because of it. It’s a crusty old bottle of Charlie for the soul. Frankly, I’d rather wear Chanel No. 5, thank you very much. Let’s pour that foul stench of fear down the drain for good. We can be free of the straightjacket of wussiness once and for all. There is nothing out there that is out to get us. We are supported and we won’t fail. It’s time to take the training wheels off and ride around the neighborhood with the wind in our hair.