I was asked to write an article about divorce during the time of a pandemic so I reached out to the experts…the women who are doing this.
The practical steps do not seem to have changed much. You still have to collect all the necessary paperwork and documents. You still need to listen to your family law attorney, your financial advisor and any other people on your team who can offer you insights and guidance to help you make the wisest decisions possible.
The biggest change to these practical steps is patience. You can find valuable information online and though much is being done virtually, the process still may be slower than you expect, even though it always feels slower than you expect.
The frustrations and fears don’t seem to change, but their intensity can definitely increase, especially if you are homeschooling children during your divorce, getting your house ready to sell, or searching for a job after being out of the workforce for years.…or all of the above.
If you are recently divorced, you may feel stalled as you try to restart your new life, feeling like you can’t step forward onto this new path you have just found.
Self-care is vital during this time, and it is different for everyone. It may be a daily walk or dancing in the kitchen, soaking in the bathtub or organizing a closet that you last went through in 2001, though none of these options is practical if it takes all your strength simply to get out of bed in the morning.
If that is the case, find a prayer or an inspirational quote or create an affirmation for yourself that can offer you hope and comfort. Find a beautiful picture and place it where you see if often or listen to music that lifts you up, even for a moment. Most importantly, find supportive women that you trust who will listen and understand and give you a hug, even it’s virtual.
Divorce and the pandemic do have some things in common. This time in our lives can bring out the best in people, and we can find kindness all around us. Some days just hanging on is the best we can do. We sense that the life we have known will never be the same, and it will be up to us to move into this new future with courage and hope.