Written by Lisa Bobyak, owner and founder of Living Fully Balanced, LLC.
I’m embarrassed to talk about it, because it’s harsh and judgmental, and it calls out a nasty little flaw of mine. What I thought about, almost daily, wasn’t very nice.
What I used to believe completely rubs up against one of my current values. And this value interestingly, is a topic that many of my clients want to talk about in our coaching sessions.
Sharing this with you is a clear reminder that we are all works in progress. And it’s an example of how our thought patterns can be changed, with conscious effort. I’m so very glad that I changed my perspective on this one, because I believe it helped me create the life I was meant to lead.
So I don’t want to keep you guessing any longer, here’s my confession: When I was home and raising my little ones, I used to think that the women who exercised, had their hair cut, and got manicures while their children were being taken care of by someone else…well, I thought they were being selfish.
Ouch. It still smacks, even though it’s been over a decade since I last had those thoughts. I was condemning fellow moms who had successfully found ways to find balance in their lives.
During divorce it’s tempting to feel the same way about women who are securely married and not struggling to pickup the pieces their own lives.
I didn’t share my thoughts with anyone. But that inner voice in my head was loud and those thoughts gnawed at me. Knowing what I know now, I wonder if by judging others, I was able to keep the spotlight of change (or shame?) off of me and onto them. Hmmmm. Some meaty food for thought.
I’m so very sorry for not being open to seeing a different perspective back then. And I apologize for disparaging anyone, for anything. I needed to do more supporting and less judging.
I live my life very differently than I lived it even ten years ago, and one of the most valuable things I’ve come to realize is….Practicing self-care is not the same as being selfish.
Let me say it again.
Self-care is not selfish.
Practicing self-care may be THE KEY to moving forward in other areas of your life.
Consider asking yourself:
- How could taking care of myself through my divorced and beyond support my growth?
- What does self-care look like for me? And what will I do to fit it into my week?
- Who do I need to ask for help?
I believe all us were designed to share our gifts. And I also believe that we can’t possibly share our full potential unless we take care of ourselves first.
When you can institute healthy changes for yourself, you will have a huge impact on the important people in you life.
Lisa Bobyak, owner and founder of Living Fully Balanced, LLC, is dedicated to helping people feel balanced and fulfilled, especially during times of transition. Her training as a Co-Active Coach (CTI) and her education degree, give her the ability to gently guide her clients with a structured yet individual approach. Contact her for personal coaching, workshop facilitation or public speaking. www.livingfullybalanced.com