Halloween makes me think of candy, chocolate candy of course, though there are many other options when it comes to chocolate! Chocolate malts, chocolate cakes, chocolate ice cream, chocolate sprinkles, and my favorite…hot fudge.
During the difficult and sometimes bitter life transition of divorce, it’s helpful to know you can still find sweetness in your life, though I’m not advocating that it always be chocolate!
Sweetness may come from a phrase or a word that inspires you, touching your heart and comforting your spirit. It may come from a conversation with a friend, flowers that you bought for yourself and are now in a vase on your kitchen table, music that lifts your spirits, a special picture you keep by your bed, or a cozy comforter you wrap around yourself. It may even be a stone you have found that you can hold, letting it ground you when you are stressed or keeping it in your pocket to reach for when you are in difficult conversations or feeling overwhelmed.
Halloween also makes me think of wearing masks, pretending you are someone you are not, and being rewarded for this with neighbors giving you candy. Not a bad deal.
How many of us have pretended be someone we are not but rarely has anyone given us candy for our efforts!
There may be days when we pretend we are happy when inside we ache or pretend we are strong when inside we feel broken or pretend we know where we are going when inside we feel lost.
And there is the “classic” pretending to be in control, holding it together the best we can. As we all know from experience, that does not work!
I’m embarrassed to say I often felt I had to pretend in order to protect myself. My divorce taught me to stop pretending, or to at least to pretend less. It takes courage to remove your masks, because when you do, you feel vulnerable. People will see the real you.
Yet, the more comfortable you become with yourself, embracing and accepting who you are, the more comfortable you will feel when people see the real you…and that may be the sweetest thing of all.
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