What Sleeping Beauty Didn’t Know About Waking Up | RU011

Could it be that the pain of your divorce is what has caused you to “wake up”? By reinterpreting the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale, this episode explores what parts of your heart may have felt as if they have been asleep, what happens when those parts of you do awaken, and what gifts do you recognize and choose to embrace. It also reassures you if that if you have been hitting the “snooze alarm” during your marriage, you are not alone, (not at all!), and that whenever you “wake up” is the right time. It reminds you that the true love that does wake you up is your own heart when, as imperfectly as it may be, you love yourself.


Ask Yourself:

*Which special gifts were given to me, which have I discovered myself, and which am I still searching for?

*Had I been hitting the “snooze alarm” in my marriage, and if so, why?

*How can I tell that I’m “waking up”?

Access your Treasure Chest Gift at: https://rediscoveringu.com/access-treasure-chest/

About the Host:

Divorced after many years of marriage, Barb Greenberg founded Rediscovering U, a company that provides education, support, and resources for women transitioning through a divorce and into a new life. She and her company have been recognized for “…creating equality, justice, and self-determination for women…” She is an award-winning author of 3 books, Hope Grew Round Me, After the Ball: A Woman’s Tale of Happily Ever After, and The Seasons of Divorce: Insights for Women in Transition. Her books are available at a special price for you at https://rediscoveringu.com/divorce-sponsors/books/

Visit https://rediscoveringu.com to learn more!

You can also find Barb at:





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Barb Greenberg:

Hello, and welcome to rediscovering you where you will find valuable insights, support and education to help you move through the difficult and often painful process of divorce with grace and courage and hope and find the ultimate gift of rediscovering yourself. I'm your host, Barb Greenberg, award winning author and founder of rediscovering you. If I'd had access to a resource like this during my divorce, I would have not felt so isolated, I would have made much better decisions. I still would have breathed for that for so hard for so long. And I wouldn't have eaten so many boxes of macaroni and cheese. When women heal. Families heal when families heal communities heal. When communities heal, the possibilities are endless. Let's get started.

Barb Greenberg:

Waking up to yourself. Do you wonder what in the world that really means? Are you thinking I'm already awake? So what's the big deal? What are you talking about? Well, as you may know, I do have a few issues with fairy tales. And when I thought about Sleeping Beauty, I had to wonder what waking up is really all about. So a refresher. Sleeping Beauty is a fairy tale about a lovely princess who it was sad when she turned 15 years old, pricked her finger on a spindle and fell asleep for 100 years. Pretty boring, right? And she doesn't toss a turn. She doesn't wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I don't get it. She just lays there. Oh, until the handsome prince wakes her up with a kiss. You've heard that one before. Right? The Kiss of a prince will save you. Well, I wonder who first decided that was the case. And who really was that guy anyway? Not saying that kiss from a prince wouldn't be wonderful, but even a wonderful Prince can save you but it's up to you. It's a gift that you give yourself. Right. So a little more specifics about the plotline. As much as there is a plotline. The princess was born from the version of the fairy tale I read, there's a large celebration all the kingdom was invited, including the fairies and each fairy brought the baby a special gift. And here's a quote, she was given beauty, wit, grace and virtue, as well as the gifts of music and dance. Oh boy, right. Before the last gift was offered a fairy who hadn't been seen for many, many years suddenly appeared. And I believe her words have been misinterpreted over the centuries. With a look of tremendous sadness and grief she proclaimed. If these are the only gifts this little girl is given, she will certainly die by her 50th birthday for no one thought to offer her gifts of courage and strength of intelligence and wisdom of wonder and curiosity, of adventure and purpose of self worth of having choices about who she wants to be and what she wants to accomplish. And even more important to have the choice to change your mind and make mistakes and try again.

Barb Greenberg:

Wow, right? Then this forgotten fairy turned vanishing as suddenly as she appeared. So everyone was horrified. Yet there was still one last gift to be offered. And there was not a sound to be heard when the remaining very spoke. This precious, precious child will not die when she turns 15 But only sleep for 100 years and then be awakened by her true love. I also believe that something else with this fairy tale was misinterpreted or reversed. I believe that the results of the gifts that had not been given to her, or that she had not realized rehearse, to claim Sleeping Beauty had been asleep most of her life. And that the pain of pricking her finger is what woke her up. And I don't mean she was laying in bed all that time. She was going about her day, but there were pieces of her that were asleep, up in the quiet corners of her heart. And I think that's a part of the human experience. You know, we're always learning things and discovering things and connecting to things. And it's our choice to wake up and discover more about who we really are. So I imagine this have you ever been sitting in an awkward position like a weird position in your hand falls asleep or your foot falls asleep? And when you start to move it it gets in the blood gets circulating again, you know you have those pinpricks lack and the rest of us awake but that part of you that needs to wake up it's really uncomfortable and sometimes it really hurts. And for me, and maybe for you, I thought I was awake. But it was the pain of my divorce at work forced me to really wake up at a different level or to wake up another part of myself to pay attention to my life a little bit. frankly, does that make sense? And it woke me up to courage and strength I didn't realize I had. But don't get me wrong. Like, there were things I was brave about, I thought I was brave about. The first thing that came to mind is my horseback riding, galloping over jumps, I thought that was pretty brave. And I wasn't afraid of dealing with a horse that was trying to bully me. I could handle that. So why did I lose my courage when it came to dealing with those in my life who I felt were bullied me, if this happened to you. Sometimes the bullying is so subtle, you don't even recognize it. You know, there's that sigh or the roll of the eyes or the joke at your expense. And the offhand comment that of course, your perception is wrong. I know you have your own story of waking up, or you're in the process of waking up, and I'm here to say congratulations, congratulations, I believe in you. I didn't really wake up. This is hard for me to say, until I was in my 50s. Until then, I had a feeling I have a feeling it was if I was hitting the snooze alarm quite often, you know, something would almost wake me up to things I didn't want to see. Or acknowledge or just didn't want to believe or imagine were true. Plus, I wasn't ready to see them. Or accept these things or take action. It was like the alarm is going off in the middle of the night. But it was really dark. And I couldn't see the next step to take. So I just hit the snooze and got back under the covers. Does that sound familiar to you at all? When I look back at this time, I was so hard on myself about what I did or didn't do until a dear psychologist friend told me. She said whenever you wake up is the right time to just be kind to yourself whenever you wake up is the right time. And another friend was brave enough to share a story about one of the times she hit the snooze. See if you can follow this one. Her husband had bought a motorcycle. She didn't like motorcycles. She was inside of their house folding laundry when he asked her to take a short ride with him. And she said no. And he insisted. So you know what happened? Right? She put down the towel, she was folding and agreed to go with him as long as they only went like to the end of the black, one black and come back. And he said, Sure. And I have a feeling you know this one too? What really happened when they got to the end of the block? Yep. He kept going and drive, driving all around the neighborhood all the while, while she yelled in his ear to stop, stop, please stop. And when he pulled back into the driveway, she was furious. And she said so. Yay. But then I bet you you know what? He replied? Yeah. He said, Why are you so upset? It wasn't a big deal. Oh, boy. And then she went silent. Did you also know that was gonna happen or not. She went back inside to fold the rest of the laundry, believing this was another conversation she wasn't going to win. So she just stopped. Or I sometimes wonder if her situation might have felt dangerous enough that she silenced your voice in order to stay safe.

Barb Greenberg:

And you may totally understand her and your heart may go out to hurt. Or you may be thinking what in the world? Why couldn't she? Or didn't she just stand up for herself? Come on, honey, let's let's do this. And she told me she felt the same way. And she asked herself the same questions over and over and over. Why didn't I stand up for myself and she swung between. I was. So I was betrayed myself, too. I was protecting myself the only way I do have. And again, as my psychologist friend shared with me, whenever you wake up is the right time. Though she's not alone, not at all. How many people not just women, but look back and realize they have stayed in a relationship too long, or job or any situation that was not healthy. So it's it's not that isn't as unusual as we think it is. So back to sleeping beauty. A few more observations in the fairy tale when she's asleep. So is everyone around her and when she wakes up, they start to wake up to so be aware that you're waking up will affect those close to you. And have you noticed when you do start to change how they respond when you do change, some cheer and they're very proud of you and others may be like really confused. Who are you at what did you do to that person I used to know and still others may want you to just go back to sleep. This is this is too uncomfortable. Just go back to sleep. Even so please know that by waking up you're healing the world by being your authentic self. Doesn't that sound nice? Healing the world by being your authentic self. In the process, you give other others permission to do the same. So by waking up, you are healing the world by being your authentic self, and in the process, giving others permission to do the same. Also, in the fairy tale, there's a forest like a brambles that grow around the palace when she's asleep. And for me, and maybe for you, it's like you can't sometimes you just can't see the view, you can't see that there are other ways to live, or view the possibilities that are all around you, and aren't sometimes like your view is really limited of what you think you're capable of that that window of, maybe when you were younger, you saw all these possibilities. But as you fell asleep, these pieces of you fell asleep, those possibilities got hidden by this forest of other stuff. And you forgot that they were there. When you do start to wake up the brambles, you know, that forest doesn't instantly disappear, you know, life doesn't instantly shine. And little birds and rainbows do no good stuff. But you can begin to see glimmers, you know, glimpses of something more that's waiting for you. And you find you have the tools to clear the brambles before us that hasn't just hidden in future possibilities. But it is possibly, at least for me, maybe for you, kept you disconnected from the parts of yourself and need, even maybe from your gifts. When I was dealing with my wakey, though, a friend shared what her therapist had told her as she was struggling to make the decision to divorce. And I'll give you it was this as close to word for word as I can remember, but it really affected me. And he said to her, Do you think you deserve to live the rest of your life this way? Wow. Sometimes I wonder why I and maybe you have believed that our special gifts are given to us by someone outside ourselves, and why we limit the kinds of gifts we believe we can embrace. So when you become disconnected from any of your gifts, it's easy. It's really easy to feel as if you've been asleep for 100 years. Or certainly these gifts are waiting within you to be discovered to be examined to be celebrated. And sometimes you have those things that you enjoy so much the time stops, you don't realize how much time has passed. Do you have those situations? I've had those when it's usually my writing, but all of a sudden I'm like, why am I so hungry? Oh, two hours have gone by. It's just I think you've had those things to where it's just something you enjoy so much the time disappears. So I want to share examples of for princesses really inspiring women who woke up to their gifts. I love these.

Barb Greenberg:

When I was still married, my husband and I went on a road trip and one of our stops was in Sun Valley, Idaho is just beautiful. They're all was so beautiful. So we're exploring and we walk into this lovely upscale art gallery, artwork price like way beyond our budget. But the manager says Let me tell you the story of how this gallery started. Okay. She said a young woman maybe 20 years earlier, was driving through the area. She stopped, she fell in love with the area. She wanted to stay. And she had no way to support herself. So she bought an artist instruction book and taught herself how to paint and started this gallery. Due to love it, I just love it. A few 100 miles later, we were at a ranch in Montana, getting ready to go horseback riding in the mountains, which I love more beautiful scenery, which I love. And one of the ranch hands shared that she had worked in a high powered corporate job and had developed like really serious stress related health health issues. And she visited the ranch a couple times on previous vacations and fallen in love with the horses in the mountains and the piece that they gave her. So ultimately, she decided to quit her job, moved to a nearby cabin and works at the ranch full time. And her health issues are resolved. And she's feeling better than she had in years. Another while right? Then I got to share this this last one to him Excuse me. We spent a few days at a beautiful lodge where you could look out the windows at yet. Yes, more beautiful scenery. And there was a conference going on. And one evening we had dinner with a few people we've met or attending. One woman shared that she was the first person in her family to graduate high schools. And so what did she do? She became a district court judge. Yay. Her friends story was that she was a single mom on welfare, and was now the chief judge in the juvenile court in her district. Oh my gosh, I was so inspired. At the end of this trip, and seeing these women, all these women who woke up who claim their gifts chose a path that felt right for them, and what a difference it made and what so whenever I feel like shaky about my decisions, or my future, I think of them because, again, wow, right. And you don't have to become a judge or a talented painter or love forces. Your gifts are unique to you. They are whatever your heart is leading you to do, or to try or to explore, and whatever brings you joy and fulfillment. And it turns out that is the true love that wakes you up. It's your heart, whispering to you to awaken and guiding you as you do. And when you can love yourself as imperfectly as we all do. And as many times as you may hit the snooze alarm. Trust that, please trust that you will always wake up

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