Holidays create space for celebrating what is sacred to us, for expressing gratitude, creating new memories, and being with those we love…even if it is virtually.
Holidays can also intensify the pain caused by divorce, and celebrations of the past are another loss for you to grieve. You wonder, “How can I honor the memories of past holidays and still find a way to move forward?”
The first step may be to reevaluate what the holiday means to you on a spiritual level. As life challenges you to grow and change, the message of the holiday will naturally deepen and expand.
When this happens, it becomes easier to decide which past traditions you want to continue and what new traditions you’d like to create.
New traditions can be as symbolic as lighting special candles, as meaningful as volunteering to serve those less fortunate, or as light-hearted as putting plastic bowls on your children’s head and letting them march around the house (we’ve done that!).
You may feel overwhelmed. “What do you mean, NEW traditions? Everything in my life is changing, and you want me to change this too? I don’t think so!!”
You may feel like a failure. “It’s my responsibility to keep things from falling apart, and not maintaining holiday traditions would be one more thing I’m failing at.”
You may feel trapped by the voice that insists that you have to do things a certain way, because “that is the way they’ve always been done.”
If you have had any of these feelings, you are not alone!
But by blending what had meaning from the past with what has meaning for the future, you will create something precious for yourself and your children, and it will be something you can celebrate and share with them whether they are with you on the exact date of the holiday or not.
And…what you create will help you rediscover comfort, healing, peace….and even joy.