Written by Cassie Breeggmann, www.contagiousconnections.com
“It isn’t too late. Time is not running out. Your life is here and now. And the moment has arrived at which you’re finally ready to change.”- Cheryl Strayed
Change is hard but necessary if you really want to transform yourself and your life. I learned a powerful lesson about change as I was preparing for my wedding.
One night I had come home from work, to find my fiancé passed out on the couch. He had drunk two bottles of wine. I was baffled. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. I sought the guidance of my family and decided I wanted to work on our relationship. After all, I loved this man. He reassured me he could change, and we began the counseling process. Over the course of the next three months there were still instances of his serious drinking problem. Each time my patience and trust were impacted a bit more as it became clear my fiancé wasn’t ready to admit he had a problem. Though I was constantly hearing words of reassurance that he would change, and I just needed to trust him, his actions weren’t reflective of his words.
I wanted SO BADLY to believe him, and I wanted to have my dream wedding in Grand Cayman. The fear of losing this dream impacted me so much that it seemed as though I wasn’t capable of change. The timing wasn’t right, but then again it never is when a difficult decision is involved. There I was standing in the Cayman Islands, outside the gorgeous villa we rented. I felt the warm gentle breeze, and looked out at the infinity pool, the teal blue ocean water, and white powder sand. The scene was so picturesque. I stared into that pool. Infinity. Forever. Infinity. Forever. Was I really capable of this lifestyle for the rest of my life? Infinity. Forever.
A few days later, a welcome dinner was planned for our arriving guests. Instead of having a partner to share the responsibilities of the preparations, my fiancé started drinking that morning, by mid-afternoon he was stumbling around and slurring his words, and by the time our guests had arrived he was spilling his cocktails and blasting obnoxious music. I was completely embarrassed by his actions, and I realized for the first time that his words meant nothing. All of the trust and respect I had once had for him completely washed away.
A change needed to be made. Since my fiancé obviously wasn’t making any, it was up to me. I canceled the wedding. I was done.
It was a life changing moment.
Since that day I have begun to reflect on what I want in life and what changes I need to make in myself to ensure I end up where I want to be. I am transforming myself and I learning to trust the process.
Change is hard, but it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Remember you have the CAPACITY to change and that CHANGE can happen at any age, at any time. There may never be a RIGHT time to do a difficult thing, but FEAR shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from change. Now go make the change you have been afraid to do. It will better your life. It did for mine.