Do you hear the “Ho, Ho, Ho” of a Santa Claus and want to cringe? Do you watch TV commercials with happy families sitting around a table and want to throw the remote at the screen? Do you listen to your favorite holiday music and want to cry?
During the holidays divorce can make it feel like a wrecking ball has demolished cherished traditions, loneliness often becomes more intense and we are left with one more thing to grieve.
It’s interesting that during December, the darkest time of year, we celebrate with Light. Lights are draped on homes and trees for Christmas. Candles are lit, glowing in windows during Kwanzaa and Hanukkah.
So, how do we find Light in the darkness that divorce can create in our lives? If feels like that would be a miracle, and this is supposed to be a season of miracles. We look around, and we don’t see any.
We don’t want to come up with new traditions, though we could come up with some great ones. We don’t want to celebrate with our children on a different day than we usually do, though we know we can make any day sacred and joyful. We don’t want to build a new family with friends and long lost cousins, though they are really amazing people and provide us with wonderful support.
Frustrated, we learn to be patient, because often miracles happen slowly as we work to heal ourselves. Eventually we do create new meaningful traditions, surround ourselves with wonderful friends and family and build treasured memories with our children.
Then one day we see something glimmer, and the Light that had been dimmed begins to shine once again, or maybe for the first time. The miracle is that this Light is coming from within us.
And a larger miracle is at work. We are finding peace. Maybe that is how “peace on earth” begins, with each of us making peace with our past.
Wishing you Miracles and Peace
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