There is no shame in feeling gray and blue or cloudy instead of constantly bright and sunny. Who can do that all the time, anyway? It’s disrespectful to only accept the cheerful parts of yourself while you delegate any remaining emotions to the basement or hide them behind the garage. I know this because I did it. It doesn’t mean that you go through your divorce whining and moaning to everyone within 3 feet of you. It means accepting how you feel. Don’t abandon yourself now, of all the times in your life.
The purpose of your emotions is to help you FEEL & participate fully in your life. Many times, the best medicine is a good cry. After the tears flow, and you have blown your nose, you usually feel drained, but calmer. If you are at home, be sure to close the windows before you let loose. I had a come-apart once in the garage with the garage door open, and my relationship with the couple next door has never been quite the same!
Your emotions help you heal. You can’t heal from emotions that you won’t admit you are feeling. Once allowed a voice, they can be processed more quickly, though quickly during a divorce is usually not as fast as you’d like.
Your emotions will not be denied. If you suppress them, they can escape from you in short bursts, and you will yell at the checkout girl or become hysterical when you drop that open peanut butter jar on the floor. If you manage to keep your emotions in check and bury them deep inside of you, they can often make you physically ill.
Your emotions can be powerful teachers if you are willing to learn. Issues that you may have been consciously or unconsciously avoiding for years, or have dealt with half-heartedly, now show themselves, demanding attention. The lessons your emotions teach are the keys to unlocking the treasure that is you.
Barb Greenberg, Founder of Rediscovering U, speaker and an award winner author.
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