Weathering Adversity through Wholeness

Contributed by Maren Beckman, MarenBeckman.com

Finding strength through adversity assumes a person engaged in the act of discovery. A person is likely to miss strength if mired in negativity and drama of the adversity. However. a person is likely to open up to their secret strengths simply by following these tips for living in wholeness.

• Commit to something personally meaningful and important to you. Do daily.
• Spend 10 minutes daily relaxing with a cup of tea. a mindful walk. mind wandering. or meditating.
• List 2 things that give you pleasure in each season. indoor or out. Choose one of these daily. This is a pleasure you are giving yourself.
• Go to bed. We are a sleep-deprived culture. There is no award for getting by on Less sleep. Create a sacred boundary around bedtime and stick to it.
• Connect to others. Look them in the eye and listen with curiosity. You’ll feel better and so will they.
• Practice random acts of kindness with regularity. You’ll feel better. and so will others.
• Cultivate curiosity in your self. in others. and in your surroundings. Curiosity is free of negativity. judgment. and criticism. Curiosity is liberating.
• Face pain. both emotional and physical. openly and directly. Knowing what you’re dealing with makes a positive difference.
• Look for the opportunity. Reframe the negative into: an opportunity disguised as adversity. What is the opportunity presented to you?
• Seek support from those who are trustworthy.
• Find JOY in what you have right now.

[learn_more caption=”Resources” state=”open”] Resources: Rising Strong by Brene Brown Flourish by Martin Seligman Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson • www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu Questionaires: VIA Survey of Character Strengths (found at bottom of the page) www.bouncebackproject.org Resilience workshop February 13, 2016 in Annandale, MN. Check website for further information. Coaching with Maren Beckman. Call for a consultation. 952.484.1216[/learn_more]

Finding Strength in Adversity Exercises

EXERCISE: Turn positivity on right now
Benefit: Taking the time to think in this manner can ignite the inner glow of gratitude that enlivens your eyes and softens your face with a smile. however faint.

1. Look around at your physical surroundings, wherever you may be.
2. Ask yourself: What’s right about my current circumstances?
3. What makes me lucky to be here?
4. What aspect of my current circumstances might I view as a gift to be treasured?
5. How does it benefit me, or others?

EXERCISE: Three Good Things

• Think of your day today. Think of three good things that occurred today. These can be small and seemingly insignificant, such as: My commute was timed to every green light. Or Everyone was home tonight for our family meal. Or, I helped a lost person with directions. They can be big things, such as: My grandchild was born this morning. Or, I got a promotion today.
• Write down your three good things in simple form and without the story. A simple sentence will probably do. Do this every evening within several hours of bedtime for 21 days. It helps people remember by setting themselves up to win. Put your writing materials next to your bed, if that helps.
• You are welcome to text me. at 952,484.1216, with your 3 good things every night. I will read them. And they will go no further. Telling someone helps with accountability to actually do the exercise.
• The first night you record and/or text, please also give yourself a rating on positivity for that day. On a 1 to 10 scale. with 10 being the most positive possible, what is your rating today?
• In 21 days, after finishing the last text of your 3 good things, conclude the text with another rating on your positivity. On the 21st day, what is your level of positivity on the 1 to 10 scale?
• What change in your positivity, if any, do you notice?

EXERCISE: The simple 4 step perspective shift
We cannot will ourselves to be positive. Yet. positivity levers can be engaged simply by changing thoughts. We can unlock so much in ourselves simply by asking powerful questions.

• What is going on for me right now?
  If you’re open and sincere as you seek meaningful. positive answers to this simple question. you prepare the soil for positivity to take root. The following exercise shifts perspective and allows higher thinking and positivity to emerge.
• The simple 4-step positivity builder
  1. Mentally push your pause button on whatever stressor is confronting you
  2. Put your hand on your heart
  3. Take in a slow deep breath
  4. Ask: What is going on for me right

EXERCISE: What’s my story?
Learning to reframe our thinking can allow us to respond to life disruptions in healthier ways. Experiencing life from a place of possibility opens us up to opportunities where we can grow. learn. and continue to contribute. It can reshape our purpose and be used to have a positive impact in the lives of others.

• What is my story?
• What are the observable facts within my story?
• What is the most optimistic interpretation of this situation?
• What is right about it?

EXERCISE: Find the Bully
Negative thoughts and negative emotions feed on each other. And as they do, they pull you down into their abyss. Dispute negative thinking of the bully.

• What set off my own downward spiral?
• What negative thoughts and beliefs got triggered?
• What did those negative thoughts and beliefs make me feel? And how do they compare to reality?
• What are the facts of my situation? And , when I take in those facts, how do I feel?

©2016 Maren Beckman & Associates Coaching. All rights reserved. 952484.1216