Set Clear Boundaries

Written by Louise Griffith, www.oneshininglight.com

Do you ever find yourself saying, “But they need me. If I don’t do it, who will?” The truth of the matter is others may “need” your gifts, time, and even financial support because you have much to contribute. Your willingness to help can make others’ lives easier and perhaps less stressful. The important thing is whether or not their request will work for you. How often do you say “Yes,” when your internal wisdom is telling you to say “No?” Listen to your inner voice because it wants to protect you from spreading yourself too thin. Be clear. You might say something like, “Thank you for thinking of me. At this time, I am going to say ‘No.’” You really do not have to explain why. It is your right to do so.

Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you got!- Janis Joplin

Saying “No” can be one of the most honoring things you can do for yourself. When you set a boundary, you might disappoint the person making the request. It’s okay. Boundaries are not always comfortable to establish; however, they’re a bridge to receiving the peace and freedom you deserve. They help keep you from becoming overstretched and resentful in the long run. Speak up, and ask for what you want. It is also your birthright. Remember, you teach others how to treat you. Setting boundaries is part of any caring relationship. Negotiating to get your own needs met helps you know and trust yourself, and it also helps others know and trust you as well.

If your limits are violated, speak up. Allowing people to take advantage of you isn’t noble or necessary, especially when you can do something to stop it.

Remember, you teach others how to treat you.

I Am Worth It Next Steps:

1. Pay attention. Do you tolerate the intolerable? Do you normalize the abnormal? Do you accept the unacceptable?
2. What price have you paid for these choices?
3. Can you forgive yourself for the times you let it happen?
4. Do you know what it feels like to be treated with respect and dignity from others and also from yourself? Reflect and take note of the impact.
5. Reflect upon a time when you set very clear boundaries with another person. Regardless of the outcome, as you go deep within, how did you feel?

Louise Griffith MA, LP

About Louise Griffith

Louise is an internationally recognized speaker, psychologist, success coach and author who helps clients get clear about what they want and then achieve it. She works with people who want to know what makes them tick and motivates them to take action in a positive and productive way. Her training deals with the core issues that stand in the way of moving forward personally and professionally and how people can be their best on a daily basis. Louise is known for shining a light on life’s possibilities.