Grief and a Corned Beef Sandwich

When dealing with divorce, please give yourself permission to grieve and to acknowledge what you have lost.

I lost the future I’d imagined for myself and my family. Being a part of a couple for so long, I lost much of my identity. I lost the love and companionship of someone I thought was my best friend. I lost my home and my financial security and the ability to trust others and even to trust myself. Your losses may be similar, and you may even have a longer list!

Grief takes a lot of energy and takes a lot of space in your life. I had been told to acknowledge it, sit with it, and be patient.

That was what I decided to do the other day when I felt a wave of grief that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

I sat patiently. Then I acknowledged my grief, asking, “Hey there, how’re ya doin’?”

As soon as I did, I had a vivid image of a woman sitting on the grass eating a corned beef sandwich and munching on a pickle! She made it very clear that she was not interested in leaving and was quite content to hang around.

It was obvious to me that trying to force her to leave was not going to work. I needed a plan and thought I came up with a pretty good one. I decided she needed some company and pictured a cheerleader waving bright sparkly pompoms and chanting, “Hope! Yay! Hope! Yay! Hope. Hope. Hope. Yaaaay!!!!!

I assumed that even if Grief needed to stay for a bit longer, at least Hope could be a comforting companion. Interestingly, I haven’t heard from my grief since they connected.

Barb Greenberg, Founder of Rediscovering U, speaker and an award winner author.