Defeat Your Doubter and Discover Your Life

By Betty Liedtke, RU Resource – Find Your Buried Treasure

“The best way to destroy my enemy is to make him my friend.” –Abraham Lincoln

If you are going through or recovering from a divorce, your ex-spouse might be the first person you think of when you see or hear the word “enemy.” But an enemy even closer to home can do far more damage, and deserves your attention.

There is a voice inside each of us – I call it “the Doubter” – that speaks up whenever we are contemplating a change in our lives. It’s the voice that says, “You can’t afford to go back to school.” “You’re not experienced enough to apply for that new job.” “You don’t have time to exercise.”

When the change is something as all-encompassing as a divorce, the Doubter can get increasingly loud and ugly: “You’re a failure.” “This was all your fault.” “If you were prettier (or smarter, or more understanding, or a better listener… ), this never would have happened.”

Your Doubter can shame you, paralyze you, and shatter your dreams for the future. It can also help you, strengthen you, and give you the courage to rebuild your life. But first you have to make it your friend.

Whenever you hear the voice of the Doubter, recognize it for what it is. Don’t try to ignore it. Instead, listen to what it’s saying, then translate or transform it into something useful that you can take action on if you choose to, or let go of if you don’t. This allows you to focus on new skills you want or need to acquire, instead of calling yourself stupid or inept. It helps you shake off negative labels that have been placed on you, instead of accepting them as true or relevant. It lets you look ahead with excitement and enthusiasm, instead of looking back with sorrow and regret.

And it turns your worst enemy – yourself – into your greatest ally. And your very best friend.

Betty Liedtke is an award-winning newspaper columnist, a Certified Dream Coach®, and the Founder/CEO of Find Your Buried Treasure™. Her specialty is helping people to find the gifts, skills, strengths and talents they don’t even realize they have, and to explore and discover ways to use this “buried treasure” to create a fulfilling and rewarding new life. Contact her at betty@findyourburiedtreasure.com