Many years ago a woman confided in me that she needed to leave a toxic relationship, but she was waiting to get all of her ducks in a row first. The problem was that the longer she stayed in the relationship, the more and more ill she was becoming.
There are definitely times during divorce (and life) when we need our ducks in a row. A row of ducks can be very valuable. The added bonus is that they make us feel like we are in control, or at least have some control, over a situation.
There are other times we can’t wait for our ducks to line up, and they will have to get into a row later. Maybe they are already more in a row than we realize, and maybe we have to learn to work with our ducks whether they are in a row or not.
And, the days that we find ourselves emotionally “all over the place,” our ducks have to work with us, lining up and following us the best they can.
We each have our own tolerance level when it comes to ducks. For me, it depends on how anxious I am about a situation. I may frantically shout, “You need to get in a row right this minute!” Or I may proclaim, “Ducks! Who needs ducks?!”
Still, I don’t think it’s possible to ever get them all in a row. Life is too fluid, things are changing all the time, and new ducks are constantly hatching.
May you always trust yourself when it comes to ducks! Whether they are in neat rows, or have created their own patterns as they wander nearby, may they always provide you both value and comfort.
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