5 Ways to Find Your Self on Your Divorce Journey

Written by Barb Greenberg

1. Slow Down
   Immediately after my divorce, I wanted to prove I was fine and went to a wedding shower. I was not fine – yet! I was trying to move forward too quickly. It turns out “fast” may be good for internet connections, but not for healing from divorce.
2. Lower the Bar
   When I cried to a friend that the pain of my divorce was too much, and I didn’t think I could handle it, she asked if I was getting out of bed in the morning. “Yes,” I answered. She smiled and said, “Then you are handling it!” I was apparently setting the bar too high for myself. It was time to lower the bar and possibly get rid of it altogether.
3. Friends and Pizza
   Whenever I shared pizza with a friend I got wonderful advice. Friendship is a powerful healer and so is pizza, ice cream, even a chicken salad if you share it with a friend. Between bites you will find support, guidance, and even a few giggles.
4. Don’t Fake It
   “Fake it till you make it.” A popular phrase. I tried it. It didn’t work. This was not time for faking, but for being honest, for accepting myself, my situation, and all the messy emotions swirling through my heart. It was the only way I would be able to learn and grow from this ordeal.
5. Trust Yourself
   You may not be able to love yourself unconditionally. (We all put so many conditions on ourselves!) But you can decide be good friends with the person you see in the mirror every morning. From friendship, you will discover trust, for you will see you are wiser and stronger than you imagined, and that you deserve a new future filled with blessings.